The Meerkat Diaries

118th April 2013:

Mila: I'm pretty feisty today. Trying to play with Sunny but he doesn't understand playing unless it involves a whole bunch of stomping about and tail waving. He has a much, MUCH bigger tail than me so I'm not getting involved in that contest.

Sunny and Skye are not getting on at all well, ever since this whole breeding season thing. Skye yells at Sunny VERY loudly whenever she sees him, and then Sunny screams back - it's really quite irritating. I sympathise though, it's meerkat breeding season an' all, and not a boy meerkat in sight (well, not a real one...)

Jack: Bored. Rainy. 'nnoying. Mousie also 'nnoying. And skunks, very. Feel grouchy.

116th April 2013:

Mila: Sunny turned One today. I remember being One. I haven't changed much. Sunny's the baby of the family. Until Skye has babies, then they will be the babies of the family I guess. This family is getting out of hand.

Jack: I seriously don't like it when anyone has birthdays, except me. And maybe Tom, he's good fun on his birthday.

113th April 2013:

Jack: SO today I ate another todo list and a piece of sheet music. Mila ate a bunch of tulips (just the pretty bits). Laura was very cross. She says she wishes there was a meerkat obedience school she could send us to. She says our "meerkat manners" leave a great deal to be desired.


113th April 2013:

Jack: Another cold, rainy day in meerkat world but the fire is warm and the skunkles are snoozing.

Mila: Discovered new realms of bliss today. Clotted cream. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

16th April 2013:

Jack: Ate another todo list. Laura was really genuinely cross this time, I'm in the doghouse. Literally :-/

Mila: Mila; hey you know what I realised today? Everyone who reads this reads it after I write it. It's like I'm talking to you from the past! Hey, people from the future, today it is rainy. But when you read this is might not be.

15th April 2013:

Mila: I went for a walk!! I'm almost never allowed to go. I didn't bite anyone. Not for the want of trying....

Jack: Laura has something called a todo list. There's a new one most days, at the start of a book she has. She pays it much more attention than me, she's always playing with it and looking at it and stuff. Anyway I waited til she went for a bath and then removed and ate it. She should be playing with me. I left just a few tiny scraps left over which was a shame because it gave her a clue that someone had ate it and it wasn't just lost - and somehow she knew it was me!! She should have given me breakfast earlier, anyway, not my fault. It was tasty.

1st April 2013:

Jack: I'm back, and as appealing as ever!

Well that was another long pause. What a year 2012 was. Our Grandad (Laura's Dad) became very ill with something called Acute Myeloid Leukaemia and died last May, which was very sad for everyone. I sat with her that night and made sure she was ok, when everyone else went to bed (Tom was away). Here is a picture of me watching TV with Grandad. I think it must have been not very interesting.

She got another skunk, Sunny, to join the family in June. He started small and cute and fluffy but now he's ENORMOUS. Like - massive. Here he is when he first arrived:

and here he is now with Jemima:

He's very very boisterous and causes lots of havoc. This is him when he was middlingly big, and he's not got any quieter!

And this was the four of us having breakfast when he was middle sized:

Laura then had a big operation in October, which meant she was quite ill for a long time. At the same time as the operation the company she was working for went bust so she lost her job. This has worked out super well for us because she couldn't go and look for a new one in London for a bit, and after having a bit of a think she decided to work from home from now on so she's on her computer a lot but otherwise she's home with us which we LOVE! Tom's still away a lot but we are working on making him feel really really guilty so soon we think he will stay with us too and we will all be happy all the time. Unfortunately Laura just had to have another operation a couple of days ago, but she's ok and still home so all is well.

In November ANOTHER skunk arrived. We are now up to three, and counting. Skye was living with someone who didn't really want her anymore and we wanted her a lot so she moved in with us. She's really sweet and very fluffy.

Skunk breeding season just happened so we are waiting to see if Skye will have any babies. Sunny was a Right Royal Pain the whole time, though, and he couldn't seem to distinguish between girls skunks and boy meerkats - *bad* - so he's been neutered now to save everyone's sanity. Laura's hoping for a batch of baby skunks, she says. I'm hoping for salmon for dinner, I replied.

Mila: Anyhoozelbies, what else has been going on around here? Well, as Jack probably told you, another bloody skunk for starters. And then another. Id say they were breeding, the rate at which they are multiplying, except that my understanding is that Jemima had an operation that makes that impossible. The new boy skunk, Sunny, is attempting to breed like mad with anything and everyone at the moment though you gotta sleep with one eye open around here.

Well, apart from the two newbies me and Jack and Jemima are still here and still as beautiful as ever, I might add. I should imagine you would like to see some images of me, you missed me right?

Me being gorgeous:

Me and Jack in the summer:

This is a lovely video with me and Sunny when he was a baby:

And this is a video of me and Jack in the bath:

Me being super-flexible:

We love it best when Tom is home:

Laura thinks she takes too many pictures of us, but I think that's probably not possible. After all, everyone says they love to look at us. We even have a fan club now - all the children from the local school line up outside our living room window and watch us as we watch them through the glass. One day they will come by unguarded, and then I'm having them.

13th November 2011:

Jack: It was Uncle Sal's birthday yesterday, we had a lovely time here in Oxford. Mila and I made Sal a calendar of pictures of us for his birthday but those naughty naughty people at Parcelforce didn't bother to deliver it yet - can't wait to see it in person. Mila and I are staying with Sal and Alex still, because Laura and Tom are off on holiday soon, so we are waiting by the door of their house for it to arrive. Very exciting. We hope he likes it! He says it probably won't get here today cos it's Sunday, but he can't be sure, right? This way when we are gone everyone will remember what we look like.

Anyhow - we are staying here for the next ten days, and Jemima is joining us on Wednesday. I've already decided - we're gonna cause some havoc!

Mila: I got myself a radiator - happy.

6th November 2011:

Jack: Jemima went to the vet yesterday. As I predicted, it didn't go too well. Jemima didn't take kindly to two injections followed by a massive microchip (she's such a baby - I barely squeaked at mine, the vet was soooooper impressed at how brave I was). Anyway, she sprayed all over Laura and tried to bite her and John-the-vet. I have to admit - my fangs are pretty awesome (you know, you've seen them) but Jemima's are the stuff of nightmares. Sharks would run in fear. If they had legs, and if they were anywhere near Jemima in the first place, as it were.

Anyway Laura came home in quite a bad mood and, the way Jemima tells it, she suggested that the Christmas sausages this year are likely to be made of Skunk, which put the willies right up J-mi. I told her not to worry, that Laura is always saying she's going to turn Mila and me into a pair of slippers, but she hasn't yet. I'm pretty sure she means after we die, so I told Jemima that so long as she didn't die before Christmas she would probably be ok.

She's been hiding under the sink ever since.

5th November 2011:

Jack: It's getting quite cold now, which means I really come into my own in my position within the household of Official Foot Warmer. It's the weekend which is *great* because everyone's pretty much home all the time and I am trying to make Laura feel loved by sitting on her feet like a lovely fluffy hot water bottle. She seems to like it. Perhaps she won't go to work this week - that would be just marvellous!!

It's Uncle Sal's birthday next weekend, we are all going over to celebrate. I would like to tell you what we plan to get him, but he might read this...! I'll show you later :-) We are very excited! We love Uncle Sal.

Mila: Laura made a new video of us having dinner. It's on our movie page. It shows just how badly treated I am here. I'm pretty much Cinderella, but much prettier obviously.

2nd November 2011:

Jack: I'm feeling pretty well again now. Phew, that was a close one.

I'm really quite enjoying winter so far, you know. It's really nice to have the fire back, and there is still a bit of sun coming in. Mila likes to sit on the window in any bit of sun she can find, I'm sticking with the fire for now because I'm still a bit fragile.

Here I am in front of the fire. My, but I'm handsome.

30th October 2011:

Mila: The good news is that I'm feeling well again! And I'm all sleek and elegant from the not eating all the time! The bad news is that Jack's now feeling really sick. He's vommed maybe fourteen times today. I keep telling him that's it's a great way to tone up your abs... (I heard that somewhere). He keeps saying that he doesn't want to look elegant, he wants to look large and impressive, and then growls and kacks at me until I go away.

Me cuddling Jack to make sure he's ok:

Me feeling better, being adorable:

Jack being really grumpy when he's sick:

Jack: Sick. Probably dying. Leave me alone.

26th October 2011:

Jack: Tom's been away nearly a week now and Laura works a long way away. Jemima's not feeling playful she's just stomping around smelling everything to see if it might be edible, Mila's sleeping by the radiator and I'm bored and a bit lonely. Still, Laura and I have got into a nice routine when she does get home (long after dark) where I lie out over her lap, with my nose between her knees, and she carefully grooms all my fur. It's lovely.

I could use a bath I think. It's been a couple of weeks, I actually like being clean. Next time anyone has one I'm going to go and sit by it and see if they bring me in.

It must be nearly Christmas. I like the Christmas tree, it's good when there are low-hanging baubles to play with, interesting smells, and sometimes someone leaves a chocolate decoration or gingerbread low enough that an enterprising sort of meerkat can get to it with a bit of effort. Course, that gets trickier with skunks around because they are quite tall when they stand up and tend to get there first. But unlike Arthur, Jemima hates sweet things so we should be ok I think.

I hope Tom gets home soon.

Us last Christmas:

25th October 2011:

Mila: Jemima wrote a little poem for Laura today. She can't type though (not too bright, skunks) so I said I'd write it down for her. It goes like this:

	"Roses are red, 
Meerkats are fluffy,
Where's my cheese, b_tch?"


24th October 2011:

Jack: Well, that resolution didn't go well at all, did it? We finally got back online. It's been a pretty interesting year all things considered. The big news from the Weasel Homestead is that I am now FOUR years old. That was a week or so ago, on the 17th. We had Sal and Alex over, there was a banner up saying "happy birthday" to me and we had quails eggs and lots of nice food and cake with lovely marscapone icing and everyone sung to me. Mila turned three in July, too, but she doesn't look it (and she's not admitting it either). Neither do I. Everyone says I look a young, but impossibly handsome, two. This is me celebrating my birthday with a nice sleep (wait... am I getting old after all?)

We had a bit of a tough summer, in June we went away on holiday with Arthur, and whilst we were there he decided to go for a bit of an adventure. Mila distracted everyone as he slipped out into the next door garden, where a dog chased him and he fled in terror into a sort of nature reserve thing (I like dogs but Arthur doesn't speak Dog) and nobody has seen him since, despite Laura and Tom being out all hours looking for him. Everyone's still really upset. Mila was heartbroken and actually bit Laura (she's never bitten a family member before so that was a bit shocking, even I was horrified). I'd only just got used to the big silly ball of fluff, but now I wish he was back. Here is an advert for him - if anyone sees him please let us know!! He's black and white and very warm and fluffy, bit bigger than a cat... well, basically if you see a skunk wandering around England there is a good chance it's Arthur.

This is a picture of Mila with Arthur, she really loved him. she's really sad without him, he should come home.

A couple of months later Jemima arrived. She was very very small, almost as small as Mousie was when when she first arrived, but an awful lot quieter. She did stamp and stomp and wave her tail a lot (still does) but it's not as scary as she thinks it is (she's not scary at all, in fact, but she can be pretty whiffy - and that's coming from me). This is her when she was a baby:

(back then we called her Jmi-mini. Now she's Jmi-maxi, frankly, she does nothing but follow everyone around asking for cheese and attacking random bits of furniture. I don't understand cheese, and I'm pretty sure it's not food.)

So, Jemima is quite grown up now, and a right stroppy little madam in my opinion. Much worse than Mila. But on the other hand she's quite a good wrestler which is nice for me, I love a good wrestle (Mila can't be bothered). She also does this hilarious thing where she hides behind the sofa and then leaps out when Mila comes past, all unsuspecting, and squashes her. Mila finds it very annoying. She's also as bad as Arthur was when it comes to scoffing all the food before we even get to it. In fact, worse. Skunks don't like orange, but we do, so Tom leaves us satsuma slices - but unlike Arthur she doesn't just leave them for us. She will only eat them if she's jumped up and down on them first, squeezing all the juice out onto the floor, so she basically just goes around ruining them! The juice is the best bit! And it makes the floor sticky.

Jemima has to go to the vet soon to get a microchip and some shots - good luck John-the-vet. I think he will have an even worse day than when he had to take those weird lumps off Mila's foot a couple of months ago. Mila does not care for strangers, she definitely doesn't want them touching her and *absolutely definitely* not gassing her and cutting bits off. He's lucky he's still mobile, if she'd had a chance to get at him he'd now only be communicating by blinking his eyes. Still, at least he doesn't have to live with her, eh? Girls, they are all the same. Tricky and violent.

Mmmm, what else. Tom has started growing chillies. Like - millions and millions of them. We appreciate a hot curry as much as the next meerkat (quite a lot believe it or not - yum) but it's getting out of hand. Our conservatory is like a jungle of colourful but potentially lethal super-hot chilli plants. The plus side is it's also full of grow lamps which are warm and cheering so it should be quite a decent winter in there (although - he never bought me grow lights. Does he love them more than me?!). Actually, now I come to think of it Tom has some photos of me and Mila playing with chillies on his website which is S'not as good as ours. Anyway - Jemima plans to pull them all over and dig up the roots once she can figure out how to get up onto all the shelves.

OOH. There are haribo in the house. I can't reach them but I *know where they are* (on top of the fridge). Time, patience and clever distraction techniques are what's required in this situation. Mila's going for the "sit near the fridge doing the big-eye mournful, small and hungry look" tactic but Laura keeps offering her fishsticks instead.

Mila: Return of the Mousie. Did you miss me? I'm going to write more soon but I need to finish my fridge-sitting, and then I urgently need to take a nap.

Actually - whilst I have you - would you like to know why I'm so sleepy? I'll tell you. Last night Jemima had a fight with our door. Which kept me up. She charged it, bodily, it wouldn't budge. So she got very cross indeed and spent the next half hour glaring at it, stamping, hissing loudly, waving her tail at it and generally giving it the "stink eye" (is that where that expression comes from...?). And yet people compare us. Yes, we are both female, very fluffy and prone to occasional bouts of extreme violence, but that's where the similarity ends. The major difference? She's nuts.

27th February 2011:

Mila: We've been really slack on the web updates over the past six months, there's been a lot going on, but now Laura has a new job and she says she will put our updates on much more often. About every week, she says. Which will be nice! I will hold her to it.

Jack: There's still a bit of paint on my tail. I like it, makes me look greyer and more distinguished.

22nd February 2011:

Jack: Laura's painting the hall, stairs and landing. HOURS of fun. I've got lovely paint footprints all over the red carpet, and pure white flanks. It's like body art. Mila says I'm copying Arthur's stripes but I am just soooo much cooler, silly mouse. Anyway - clams for dinner, good day.

Mila: I have paint on my nose...achooo!

21st February 2011:

Jack: Ooooooh new delicacy. Beef, prune and almond tagine. Delicious. Have now forgiven Laura for abandoning us to go to Morocco for a week in late January if she comes back and makes food like this.

Mila: Prunes. Interesting. I'm not sure I like them.

10th February 2011:

Jack: Tom gone away again. :-((

Mila: And he seems to have taken the squirty cream with it... where did it go?

26th January 2011:


Mila: We super-love bugsies, mmmmmmmmm nutty.

26th December 2010:

Mila: Excellently, everyone is home again. We weren't allowed to go to Laura's parents for Christmas because to be honest... I bite them. But today we are all home with yummy food and we got a lovely present... a special large radiator for the conservatory! I love it already, I've named it Frank. I like to cuddle up to Frank and stay there all day.

Jack: Mmmmmmmsausages.

24th December 2010:

Mila: Pretty pretty baubles!! I like to sit under the tree and bat them back and forth.

Jack: Hey, you know what? There is chocolate on the tree. Must learn to jump. Can only practice when nobody is watching though.... because sometimes I land on my head and people laugh :-(

07th December 2010:

Jack: A large tree just came through the front door. Scary. I'm hiding under the sofa.

Mila: I like the tree, and it was really funny watching Laura try to put it up by herself, she must have dropped it on her head, ooh, a good four times. She's wearing bits of it now.

19th November 2010:


Mila: Jack is reeeeally unshary with bugs. I have to ask to have some on my own where he can't find them or he sits on them and growls and tries to bite me. And I'm a lady so I can't really fight back over dinner, it's not seemly.

17th October 2010:

Jack: IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!! I'm three! Which is.... really old actually. Bit perturbing. Got lots of super special bugs though and a Sal'n'Alex special cuddle.

Mila: I swear Jack has birthdays way more often than I do, seems like he's *always* birthdaying to me. All a bit too exciting, going for a nap behind the sofa.

03rd October 2010:

Jack: Tom's birthday, but he's not here, which is quite sad actually. We usually get great food on Tom's birthday! Mila and I wrote him a card anyway, and Arthur muscled his way onto it but he isn't very good at pawprint signing.

Mila: The card was very pretty with a nice picture of a meerkat on it that looked a lot more like me than Jack so he will remember me more when he is away :-).

22nd September 2010:

Jack: Things are going from bad to worse. Not only is the skunk still here... but he's half the size of a house by now! I have to wait til his back is turned to bite him, just to be safe. I keep telling Laura and Tom, if they keep giving him free food he'll *never* go!!

Mila: Arthur is still very nice, and he's even flufflier now. You have to be pretty quick on the dinner bell with him around though, I'm distinctly hungrier than I would usually be this time of day...!

2nd September 2010:

Jack: Anyone heard of Goldilocks? Well, the skunk is like that. He eats my food, sleeps in my bed, and goes off and cuddles my female in secret...! This is so not on. I'm off to bite him. Not to happy with Mila either.

Mila: Still happy. New warm furry thing to cuddle. Yay.

28th August 2010:

Jack: Argh - where did this come from?! It's black and white and eating my dinner!

Mila: Gotter new friend, Arthur the skunk. Smells yummy, lovely thick fur, loooove him to bits, I just want to cuddle him and groom him and sniff him all day. Happy.

31st July 2010:

Mila: 'Smy birthday. I'm two. And getting prettier every day. I have some lovely bugs and some new toys and I feel very special right now. Actually I usually feel special because I am. :-) Hooray for birthdays though.

Jack: We're all celebrating Mila living with us. Which is alright, I suppose, got quite used to her by now. She's two now, getting on a bit...

6th June 2010:

Mila: Whilst we love our human troupe members to bits (Jack even bites bits off them sometimes) there are a few areas in which we just don't see eye to eye. Allow me to illustrate with an example.

Now, when meerkats go to sleep for the night we cuddle down into our burrow. I spend all day protecting the home territory from invasion by strangers, and at night it's Jack's turn to protect me so he lies on top of me across my back to keep me safe from snakes (after all, if I got eaten who would protect our turf?). Night is scary and we don't like to go out, so if we need to wee we just relax into it (also, let's be honest, we like smelling of wee). Because I'm on the bottom I tend to get wet, and that is the natural order of things and quite fine with me. I don't mind smelling of wee, it doesn't bother Jack, but lo and behold - every time I get dunked in a bubble bath the next day.

I like bubbles a great deal but I do *not* care for baths. I have explained this carefully and in detail to the humans, and yet they persist. The only upside to a bath is that after it we get to snuggle on hot water bottles in front of the fire drying off, but in this weather I sit hopefully before the fireplace and they just won't turn it on even if I give them the widest-eyed look I have in my arsenal.

So anyway - I've decided enough is enough. Next time I'm dangling over a hot soapy tub I'm biting. Yes, I'm pretty sure that's what I'm going to do.

Jack: Tom has made friends with a robin in our garden. This is bad because he gives the robin some of our bugs. Then all the sparrows arrive and they scoff them all down too! It's just... unbelievable, frankly. I'm incensed.

28th May 2010:

Mila: As you know, I've been working on my "I'm so sweet" act, in order to bite people. Only it stopped working because Laura and Tom have been warning everyone who wanders into my lair. So now I've changed tack. I've learned to leap very well, and I've honed my teeth so I can bite clean through jeans. And yesterday I tested it, and it works!! Interlopers are once again in mortal peril in my domain. I am female - hear me ROAR!

Ooooooh lunch. Tom's making steak. We had crunchy nut cornflakes at breakfast time and bugs for elevenses, so all in all it's turning out to be a very pleasing day indeed.

Jack: She doesn't roar, you know. She squeaks. A lot, all the time, and it's very very girlie indeed. We all call her Squakathon. Not very scary if you ask me, and her teeth are about half the size of mine. She never even lost her baby teeth! To be fair she does sharpen them on concrete blocks which is maybe a little scary. And she attacks magpies. I think she's a bit mental.

Also - you know about a week ago I was helping with the home improvements? Well, I still haven't got the plaster off my claws. I won't be doing that again (probably).

27th May 2010:

Jack: My tunnel out of the conservatory is going quite well. The only thing is that it takes a very very long time for a slug to crawl up it, it's quite frustrating waiting.

Mila: There was a rat in the garden today, and a baby bird who was learning to fly. I considered eating the bird but couldn't be bothered (and also Laura got to it first). The rat I like, I think I'll call him Steve.

26th May 2010:

Jack: I keep telling them to put the inside fire on to bask in front of and they won't. They say it's hot enough, but is that actually possible..?

Although now I come to think of it, 2 days ago it was hot enough to melt candles and I did sometimes enjoy cooling myself on the odd kitchen tile, but it's nice to have the fire option.

Mila: We saw a very interesting movie last night. Not sure what it was about but there were flying things and pretty colours, and no horses, sharks or loud bangs so we really enjoyed it.

25th May 2010:

Mila: We have a great big fire pit in our garden. It's lovely and warm and sooo pretty. And I, for one, am smart enough not to get close enough to burn my paws.

Jack: Ouch :-(

24th May 2010:

Mila: Wondering whether to start sharing slugs with Laura again. I'm getting a bit sick of them. Not that she was that appreciative last year, but maybe she's matured since then.

Jack: I'm the Slug King. I made a very small tunnel out of the conservatory through the floor, it's about paw-sized. I sit by it and wait for the slugs to wander unsuspectingly through. Muhahahaha!!

23rd May 2010:

Jack: Now we've moved not only do we have a lovely sunny conservatory to sit in when it's warm (which it is at the moment, very) but also Tom comes home at lunchtime to play with us in the garden! It's really really great and there are many worms. We found a birds nest the other day too and there is a robin who tries to steal our mealworms which makes it all a bit more exciting hunting them.

It's almost like a desert in the conservatory, there is sand and rocks and stuff - and there was a cactus until Mila destroyed it. I call that mean-spirited. I think it was a Texas cactus rather than a Kalahari cactus but it still added the general ambience, along with our sand-coloured lookout post. I like to sit up there and look for eagles, whilst allowing Mila to marvel at my regal profile, which I know she secretly loves to do.

Mila: I really love slugs, I had about 14 of them today. The only trouble was that after that I couldn't manage any aubergine.

22nd May 2010:

Mila: Even better - slug season is back!! YAY! There are some MONSTER slugs in our new garden. The bad news is that Jack has got much better at catching them (he must have been working out - last year he was too slow for them...!). The worse news is that he can't tell which ones are good and keeps eating those weird mottley stripey ones and then he throws them up on the living room carpet and we're not allowed in there anymore!!

Jack: I have it on excellent authority that we're not allowed in the living room because I dug the carpet through down to the wood under the corner unit (I know - I'm awesome. Carpet - bow down before me in terror). Also I resent any implications that I can't take my slugs, I was just having a bad-tummy day. Happens to the best of us. Harumph.

21st May 2010:

Mila: Ooh the smoked oysters are back! Love them :-)

Jack: Well we didn't get any bugs. Or sent flowers. But we have lots of new facebook and youtube friends which is nice, and the general consensus is that we are very very attractive meerkats indeed. Especially me.

20th May 2010:

Jack: Today we are starring in the Sun newspaper. It's about time we got our dues. Although I've been waiting by the door and nobody's sent any bugs yet so fame isn't going quite as I'd hoped.

Mila: There was a huuuge photo of Jack and only little ones of me :-( Which is really odd because everyone agrees I'm much prettier! Maybe it was because I kept trying to bite the photographer...?

Editor's Note: We did an interview with a very nice independent journalist, who wrote a very good article about how meerkats don't make good pets, bite you and destroy your house, and how people should think very carefully indeed before buying one. And then he sold it to the Sun, and look what they did with it.

17th May 2010:

Jack: Last night we were cold. The reason was that Mila weed all over the bedding and it smelled. So, naturally, I dragged it out of the den. But then she whinged all night about being cold, as though it was my fault! I'm not the one who weed on it.

Mila: Little bit of wee never hurt anyone. Whereas cold kills.

16th May 2010:

Jack: A photographer called Rosie came to see us today. It was very tiring. Especially for her - she had to dodge Mila for four-and-a-quarter hours! Still, we got loads of lovely attention and bugs, and if we get famous maybe people will post us presents like mealworms and stuff like they do to celebrities. So on the whole it's probably good Mila didn't manage to bite her.

Me, I'm quite neutral on the stranger-biting, but usually life is easier if Mila gets her way.

Mila: I'm SO FRUSTRATED. This lady was here practically all day, I tried *everything* to bite her, I pulled out all the stops, and I'm pretty sure she left with the impression I'm sweet. I've said it before: I must become bigger and more scary! :-(

15th May 2010:

Jack: Laura was painting a shed a lovely orangy colour. I tried to help (and also I wanted to eat the paint) but I got orange all over me and she got cross and put me in the bath. Boo. I *wanted* to be orange, it was pretty :-) So then I tried to help with the plastering and that got me in trouble too. I can't do anything fun around here!

Mila: Home improvements are very boring, but the humans like them. So I've entered into the spirit and taken up most of the grouting in the kitchen floor. Then they get to put more in which should make them happy.

14th May 2010:

Mila: My leaping skills lead me to Laura's cactus, so I dismantled it. Now she's sad. I don't really understand why.

Jack: I've made such a massive hole in the carpet, it impressed even me. I'm the master.

10th May 2010:

Mila: We're coming around on sausages. We never liked them, but there's a really nice butcher here and he makes really yummy ones. Well worth eating. Also he makes really good pork scratchings! Laura and I used to eat them all but now Tom and Jack have started getting eating scratchings too which is very bad news.

Jack: Pork in general is really growing on me. I used to think it wasn't food but now I see: I was wrong.

6th May 2010:

Mila: Got my head stuck in an empty bag of pickled onion monster munch and then walked into a cabinet quite hard. Laura laughed at me :-(. Thing is - the packet didn't smell empty, it smelled delicious. Perhaps I'll go back and check again...

Jack: Mila is very stupid. She spent most of today with her head stuck in a crisp packet. Honestly, it's a good thing we can't breed, my genes would face a real uphill struggle with her.

1st May 2010:

Mila: Tom made a 2 foot high conservatory barrier so that people can walk through the conservatory without us being able to get to them and bite their feet. I decided that this means it's time to learn to jump, so within 5 minutes I was able to leap right over! He's not happy about it, but it's already coming in handy. I can get up on chairs and tables and stuff - all in one day! I'm a fast learner :-)

Jack: The upside of Mila's new leaping skill is that she can now get onto things we're not supposed to get onto. On the downside, she rarely shares what she finds. I'd like to jump high too but it looks sort of hard.

18th April 2010:

Jack: There are very many things going on at our house. Tom digs stuff in the garden almost every day, which is so fun and we go with him to look for bugs. I'm really happy! And too busy to write much, sorry.

Mila: I'm very very bouncy and happy and I'm all sleek and fast from practicing running up and down stairs every day and things. Life's good and I've really got into the swing of defending the new home from people! It's upsetting when Tom and Laura let people in and shut us out, but it's quite rare and I suppose everyone has flaws. I guess eventually they will learn - when I was a pup I didn't mind having people in the house, it's only now I'm mature and grown-up that I realise that all strangers are evil and should die.

20th March 2010:

Jack: There's a big wet thing outside our house. It's called a pond. It has frogs and enooormouse fishes in it, and I was just looking at them when I slipped and fell in :-( I climbed out by myself, but then I felt very sorry for myself and shivered a lot. Tom thought it was funny, and Laura pretended to love me but then she gave me a bath because she said I smelled!

Mila: There's a fire! I'm so happy and warm, I love it here I'm never ever going anywhere else.

12th March 2010:

Jack: Jack the meerkat, can we bite it?
Jack the meerkat, yes we can!

Mila: We live in a conservatory now during the day. I have a great lookout post. Happy.

6th March 2010:

Mila: We moved into our new house today! Gosh, we really really love it! It has lovely thick red carpet and a great big conservatory where all our stuff is going and some really steep stairs we can race up, and a lovely hot fire... it's just brilliant. And best of all the garden is absolutely massive! I'm so happy I jumped on Laura's face when she was asleep on the floor to tell her about it! Also there are many boxes to hide in and behind.

Jack: Best Day Ever. Our new house is just amazing and it's all ours!! I'm so happy I am just fluffing myself up and wriggling on everyone in joy!

5th March 2010:

Jack: Moving tomorrow. Everyone's too excited to sleep!

Mila: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

10th February 2010:

Jack: The flat is strangely empty. Lots of stuff in boxes in the halls, not much else going on. It's eerie.

Mila: Is eerie a word? Really?

1st February 2010:

Jack: Still cold but when we move I'm told there will be a lovely warm fire. I've never seen one, but I'm told they are very nice.

Mila: Before Tom and Laura go to work they make us each a hot water bottle. But I'm big enough to cover two bottles now if I get there first and really stretch out! Warm tummy.

21st January 2010:

Jack: Snow. It's cold.

Mila: Not super keen on this snow business. It makes it much harder to spot birds of prey and things. Not sure what it's for. Laura thinks it's to cover pot holes in the road so she can't see them in the dark, then she walks over them and falls in and gets wet. She's grumpy. I'd better see if I can cuddle her better.

16th January 2010:

Jack: Laura and Tom are back HURRAH!! I missed them loads. But I didn't bite Sal and Alex, and everyone's really proud of me :-)

Mila: Hellooo everyone I'm back! I had so much good food, I wish I could remember it all to tell you. Anyway - nap time.

12th December 2009:

Jack: We are back with Sal and Alex later today, for a whole month!! We can't use the computer there so talk to you next year :-)

Mila: Laura and Tom are off to New Zealand so we get Christmas with Sal and Alex. Should be lovely, I plan to gain weight. By the time they get back I'll be nearly wolf-sized I think!

11th December 2009:

Jack: Laura turned 30 today. That's REALLY old. About twice as long we expect to live!! She doesn't look close to death though so I'm not too worried.

Laura and Tom had an argument about what to do with us when we die. Tom wants us to fit on the bonnet of his car looking fang-y. Laura wants to turn us into a pair of slippers. I can tell you what though - I'd prefer to sit on a car and go fast. Whereas Mila would prefer to lie around the house all day. So they might have to share. Laura says one slipper isn't really enough for someone with two feet though.

Mila: Laura's birthday. Jack and I got her a card. Love you!

8th December 2009:

Mila: Laura told me they have found a house they want us to live in. I hope it's nice. It will be far away from Alex and Sal which is really sad - more than an hour away! but Laura says we will still visit a lot. Which means lots of being chewed by Jack in the car, he doesn't like car journeys. Neither do I if it means listening to him whinge all the way. And getting chewed. Anyhow the house has an enooormous garden. Very exciting.

Jack: There is a box of chocolates on the coffee table. Not for much longer though.

2nd December 2009:

Mila: I've been digging a lot. Digging is hard in the kitchen but I'm making very much noise trying!

Jack: I have a headache.

29th November 2009:

Mila: Today there was a "fire drill". There was a terrible ringing noise, then some firemen came into the flat. Clearly they were responsible for the din, so naturally I whipped out from where we were hiding (under the sofa) and leapt for the leader's throat. He threw me off and ran away. Wuss.

Relatedly, I have decided I don't want to be a meerkat anymore. I want to be a wolf. Saw one on the TV. Granted, I'm much *much* prettier than her, but on the other hand I think she could easily take down a fireman. I'm going to start practicing. And eating more so I get bigger. How do I upgrade my teeth, does anyone know?

Jack: Awful noise. Ears still ringing. Not coming out from under the sofa until tomorrow at the earliest.

22nd November 2009:

Jack: Got a new song. It goes: "bug-sels, bug-sels, you are yummy and I want you in my tummy". It's a work in progress.

Mila copied me though.

Mila: Mine is: "Run mealworm, run mealworm, run away quick, here comes the Mousie with the massive sharp teeth." It doesn't rhyme but otherwise it's good. Jack says it's rubbish, but I think *he's* rubbish! Grr.

18th November 2009:

Jack: I'm bored of hearing about houses now. Ours is fine. Except that a really nice garden couldn't hurt. I'd still rather see more of Tom and Laura and I think they should just stay in with us - then it would be nearly perfect!

Mila: If there was a big garden there would be lots and lots of slugs, right? And Jack is rubbish at slug hunting (I think they are a bit quick for him...) so I'd be really full all day :-)

15th November 2009:

Jack: Well, it's getting all dark and horrible. Laura gets home very late and is tired. She says we will move house soon. Laura and Tom are house hunting, which sounds fun, if tricky. I think maybe they have a great big lassoo?

Mila: Jack's silly. Clearly what is happening is that Tom and Laura are out attacking troupes from other houses. When they win, we get to take over the house. Hope they pick a good one!

But why aren't we going too? I'm so so good at attacking people, I'd be really useful!

10th November 2009:

Jack: Wrrrrestlemaniaaaaa! I RULE.

Mila: Look - I wasn't playing, ok? So it doesn't count!

3rd November 2009:

Jack: Laura is learning Arabic. This is of no interest whatsoever, except that she uses Mila to demonstrate all the adjectives. Like high, and low, and sitting and standing and upside down! It's hilarious and very undignified. I'm above joining in but I'm enjoying watching.

Mila: I am learning aerial acrobatics. I think that's what we're doing anyway.

31st October 2009:

Jack: Laura's still sick but she travels a long way every day for work. I think she should stay home!

Mila: It's starting to get a bit cold out. And it's dark. I feel like hibernating. I wonder if I'm part hamster?

Had some cockles today. I'm adding them to the list of things I like a lot. It's quite long now. I like embroidery too, fun to play with!

22nd October 2009:

Jack: Laura's been home sick for three days. The last two weren't very good 'cos she was mostly in bed but today she was up and prepared to play with us a bit which was sooo nice. We're all waiting for Tom to get home, which will be even nicer.

Mila: Very bad news indeed. Laura and Tom boarded up our home in the skirting board under the washing machine because they say we made it smell. And they cleaned it with bleach and stuff. I've been trying hard to tunnel back in but have finally admitted defeat. I'm VERY cross and plan to continue sulking until they un-board it. We've been sleeping in the litter box in protest. Jack started it but now I agree.

21st October 2009:

Jack: Laura and Tom closed up our house. I don't understand it. We've been sleeping in our den inside the cupboards for years and suddenly it isn't allowed. We're not allowed to sleep under the sofa either. And a new wooden house has appeared. It's full of our towels but smells weird. Well, I, for one, won't be told what to do. I'm sleeping in the litter box.

Mila: Laura's got swine flu. Presumably something to do with the roast pork she cooked at the weekend. I told her we don't like pork and it's not good to eat, but she didn't listen. And look what happened.

18th October 2009:

Jack: It's still my birthday!! Tom had a birthday-week, so do I. Had a lovely time over at Sal and Alex's last night, I was even allowed a sniff of pink champagne!

Mila: Jack's so excitable. It's tiring! I like to relax, and kind of lounge around a lot.

17th October 2009:

Jack: It's my birthday!! We're off to Sal and Alex's for dinner to celebrate my second birthday! I'm so excited, I need a nap. I have lots of bugs!! And Laura made an apple cake, 'specially for me. Yum.

Mila: Jack's birthday. Booooring. We get to see Sal and Alex though :-)

13th October 2009:

Jack: Life is full of joy and excitement and many new things. Today it was smoked oysters. Yum. Life is Good.

Mila: I catch houseflies with my teeth. I'm ace. I wait quietly til they come by and then leap like a lethal, fly-catching ninja. I'm in competition with the strange fly-eating plant, but I'm higher up the food chain. I'm just waiting for the plant to be left within-reach and unguarded, and I'm having that too.

9th October 2009:

Jack: I'm mastering the art of the super flying meerkuddle.

Mila: I'm thoughtful. Summer went so fast. No more slugs. Life is strange. And all the white birds are gathering on the field outside the flat. It may be a sign.

3rd October 2009:

Jack: It's Tom's birthday and he left us behind with Sal and Alex to celebrate with Laura :-( I'm upset so I bit Sal. Should probably stop doing that, technically it's not his fault.

Mila: Tom's birthday. Not as important as mine, but still - happy birthday Dad, we love you. Come home soon.

6th September 2009:

Jack: Laura and Tom are living in the same flat now which is great. Laura has a job and isn't home all day anymore which is bad. But Tom's coming home to see us a lot and there's a box full of sand and bugs and it's really well stocked, which is nice. And some good tunnel zones. Mila's nearly big enough to make wrestling her a challenge. All in all, life is pretty good.

Mila: We had a horrible horrible shower today. I like being clean but I hate the shower. Jack tried to bite Laura to tell her that we didn't want to go in but she didn't care. I guess she doesn't love us as much as we love her :-(

5th September 2009:

Jack: I love JackFM they say my name a lot! I think they will send me a car sticker. Laura says if they do I can eat it!

Mila: I am veeeery sneaky. Wait til they find that poo. Could be some time. Heh heh.

1st September 2009:

Mila: I like pork scratchings. Delicious. I don't like cat food. Neither does Jack. He ran away from the bowl of cat food so fast he hit his head on the door. It was very funny!

Jack: The standard of catering has really gone downhill around here.

28th August 2009:

Mila: Well, what news? I've stopped bringing in slugs because Laura hated them and because I think one gave me food poisoning. I've been sick for a couple of days but today I'm better and bouncy yay!

Jack: Had venison last night and pea shoots. Yum. Laura says I'm spoiled rotten. She also says I'm smelly so I think a bath will be on the cards today.

27th August 2009:

Jack: Mila's sick. Upside - I get all the food. Downside - she smells.

Mila: Still sick. Need many cuddles.

26th August 2009:

Jack: Tom's started drawing comics of us. Laura thinks they are really funny and just like us. I don't think they are very flattering and my head shape is all wrong.

Mila: Tom's started drawing comics of us. People have been telling me I've been getting fat but - looking at the comics I'm really skinny :-) I've got food poisoning though so likely to get thinner.

25th August 2009:

Jack: Lots and lots of bugs today which was really nice. Mila didn't feel like locusts so I got most of them.

Mila: Feeling a bit dodgy not hungry :-(

23rd August 2009:

Jack: Laura's painting stuff but she won't let us help! I 'splained that we're good at painting. I've painted before with my paws and tail. Come to think of it I did have to have a massive bath after though.

Mila: Laura has a new job so we have to move house. Sound exciting to me. There's bubble wrap!! I love bubble wrap!

18th August 2009:

Jack: Ooh! We're going to see Sal and Alex this evening, because Laura's going to Switzerland tomorrow for the day (she's looking for a job, apparently we are eating her out of house and home). Going to be spoiled rotten and cuddled a lot. Yippee!

Mila: Laura says if I bring in any more slugs she's hiding some of these in the garden. Harum. I think she's joking.

17th August 2009:

Mila: Today I decided to try to make my slug offering more tempting. I tenderised it, then laid it out at Laura's feet. Unfortunately she stepped on it. Barefoot. To say she's not best pleased would be an understatement. I think I'm unpopular again. I'll have to be extra cuddly tonight.

Jack: Blasted Mila and her never-ending slug source. WHERE does she get them? If she eats any more, I think she'll turn into a slug. Then I suppose I'll eat her. Circle of life...

16th August 2009:

Jack: I ate a corriander plant. Now I feel sick. Mila smug as usual.

Mila: VERY exciting. Spent the day in Laura's parents garden. Blazing hot, lots of ants, just fantastic. Best of all, I defended the garden against a really big pigeon! Jack hid under the table but I snuck up on it. It saw me coming the first time and flew off but the second time I nearly got it! Tom and Laura think since it's bigger than me I wouldn't be able to hold onto it. On the other hand, I might flyyyyyy......!

Meanwhile, Jack just hid under the barbequeue. Lame...

15th August 2009:

Jack: Grr. Cooped up in the conservatory most of the day when it was sunny out. Don't like that AT ALL. Want to roam the house too. Apparently since we bite ankles that's not allowed but I just can't help myself. Bored :-(

Mila: Spent the day at Laura's parents house. Unfortunately she was out most of the day and we were stuck in the conservatory (because I bit her mother last time) but there were quite a few bugs and it was nice and warm so could have been worse. Jack got in a mood and barked half the afternoon though, now I'm sleeepy.

13th August 2009:

Jack: Mila keeps wasting perfectly good slugs on the humans, it's infuriating!!

Mila: Third slug, third rejection. This time I dissected it into little bits for easy digestion and left it in the middle of the floor, still it went in the bin. I think this might be an "acquired taste" thing - Laura took a bit of practice before she liked oysters, so I shall persevere.

12th August 2009:

Jack: I'm in a grump. I just AM, ok?

Mila: Another slug gift rejected. Sigh.

11th August 2009:

Jack: We promised ourselves to write more from now on! Lots and lots! But... I can't think of anything. Hmmmm. Had a jolly interesting dream about being very very big, which was nice. Laura's father had the same dream, strangely enough. Laura was worried by the idea of me coming up to a man's shoulder, she thinks I'd be really in charge then. Which I am, but nobody has noticed yet.

Mila: I found a MASSIVE slug today. It was the size of my HEAD! I couldn't manage it all. I ate a quarter of it, and I left the rest in the living room for Laura to find (I love, love it when people leave me bits of food to find). For some reason she threw it into the garden, so I brought it back. Then she threw it in the bin. There's gratitude for you.

9th August 2009:

Mila: Most unfortunate. Tried to bite Laura and Tom's friend Kevin, but am now being watched like a hawk. Unsuccessful. Will have to lie low for a bit...

Jack: You see, because of that, when people come over we BOTH get locked in the kitchen. No fair :-(

8th August 2009:

Mila: I'm not popular. I bit Laura's sister Jane. A lot. I just couldn't help myself. I quite liked her, she smelled nice and was inoffensive in every way but... sometimes a girl just has to do these things. Anyway I'm really in the dog house this time :-(

Jack: Mila ruins everything. That's another family member who won't be cuddling me. Grrrrr.

31st July 2009:

Mila: It's my BIRTHDAY! I'm one. Apparently that's really important and I'm very special. Last night there was a party. Sal and Alex came over. They ate lots and lots of food - calamari and different fishes and beef and lamb and vegetables and things with sour cream and I got to try all of it. And I had some bugs. It was really nice. Sal and Alex brought me a lovely pink bowl and tray to eat my food from, and Alex brought a delicious dessert with cream, orange and ginger, all things I like. I was quite tired and had a nap around 9pm but then I got up and was cuddled solidly until about midnight, it was all jolly nice. And now I'm one.

Jack: I'm officially opposed to two things: a) party poppers b) Mila having birthdays. She gets uppity.

26th June 2009:

Jack: Tom proposed to Laura. Meaning there's going to be a massive great big party. And I won't be allowed at it. Sulking.

Mila: Laura and Tom are planning to get married, apparently. All good by me.

13th June 2009:

Jack: Tom had a graduation today, and Sal and Alex came. Love it when the whole pack is together, get very excited!! They came with creamy things for breakfast, yummy!

Mila: Confusing day. Lots of ins and outs and funny costumes. All a bit much, went to bed.

31th May 2009:

Jack: Laura and Tom went away AGAIN but we stayed with Sal and Alex and played in the garden. They got us a sandpit with pingpong balls hidden in it, fun! I've got lots of sand up my nose. Sneeze.

Mila: I discovered that if I stand on my back legs in the field of poppies and stay very, very still with my nose up Alex can't find me. I'm a poppy! Tee hee!

12th May 2009:

Jack: Laura has a "piano" in the garden shed. It makes noises. I'm not sure why.

Mila: Love summer. Garden nice. Happy. 'Specially like slugs

11th May 2009:

Jack: Mila's getting chubby. I can't see how because I do my level best to eat all the food. It's very strange... I wonder if she has a secret stash.

Mila: I'm working on taking the lids off all the alcohol bottles in the cupboard. It's very tricky but one day I'll figure it out. You need to grip the bottle with your back legs and try to twist with the front. Give me time...

8th May 2009:

Jack: Mila ate another delivery person. She's got a new trick. She fluffs herself up and stares up at the person with big beautiful innocent eyes. Almost invariably he thinks she's sweet and tries to stroke her. At which point she goes in for the kill. It's very effective.

Mila: Laura put this on my facebook wall:

"Well, from the sidelines, here's what happened.
Jack, Mila and I were in the kitchen. The front door was open because I was taking out the rubbish. The doorbell rang. Time stopped for a split-second as the three of us locked eyes. Then the race for the door began... me crying "Nonononononononono....." all the way, punctuated by a loud "NO!" as the delivery man uttered a charmed "awwwww..!!" and reached for the cute fluffyness that is Mila Mouse.

He emerged dripping blood and had to be bandaged.

Good work small and fluffy."

5th May 2009:

Mila: Ok, here's what happened:

We got back from our holiday with Sal and Alex yesterday and we were quite tired so we went to bed early. Then we woke up early and nobody was around. Tom had left some lovely eggs on the top of the little fridge: duck eggs, turkey eggs and chicken eggs - a real treat. Well, they were clearly there for us, but Jack couldn't quite reach them on his own and I am a lady so I don't like to stretch too much. But eventually we figured out that if I sat next to the fridge and Jack climbed onto my back he could hook his claws around the edge of the box and release them.

So, anyway, there were lots of yummy eggs for breakfast. Unfortunately more of them broke than we could eat so I tried to tidy up a bit by swishing them around with my tail, but I think it made things worse from the eggs-on-the-floor point of view. We're just not as popular now as we were yesterday and we're quite sticky :-( I guess this is why Tom usually cooks them for us first.

Jack: My spidey-sense tells me that a bath may be in the offing, so I'm hiding under the coffee table.

27th April 2009:

Jack: Laura has been putting things into holes in the garden. I'm not sure why, but I'm worried she might lose them for good. I'm helping out by bringing them back.

Mila: Mud.

I like it.

23rd April 2009:

Jack: Look, it's very simple. Meerweasels like food. They especially like food that belongs to someone else. If you leave food anywhere that I, or Mila, or the two of us in combination, can get to then it won't be there when you get back. You know this about us so it's not our fault.

Mila: What Jack said.

Plus, I also eat house plants. And delivery people. Everyone needs a hobby.

22nd April 2009:

Jack: I love sun. Love love love sun sun sun. Hurrah.

Mila: Apparently I won't get a birthday party. Jack had a party. But Laura thinks I'd bite all the guests. Which is half the fun, surely...?

21st April 2009:

Jack: I saw a big cat today. It was huuuuge and scary. I defended the doorstep - by myself, Mila didn't help AT ALL - until Laura arrived. Then I decided that since she's a lot bigger than I was she could deal with it, which was a big relief.

Tom came to see us today which is very nice indeed, we haven't seen him for AAAGES (at least three days).

I have a new and cunning plan to train the humans. It has to do with forced bathing, and defecation. I won't say more at this stage.

Mila: Apparently there was a big cat in the garden today. I wondered what the smell was. I didn't really notice because I was busy sunning myself and falling asleep and generally enjoying myself. Jack got pretty upset about it though. He needs to learn to relax.

18th April 2009:

Jack: We haven't been typing a lot because we've been going on holiday with our Uncle Sal and Auntie Alex. Laura and Tom have been very busy working and they don't like to leave us on our own too much.

We love Sal and Alex, and I, for one, am very sorry I bit them. Just for the record.


Mila: Laura says she's going to get some sugar gliders, sometime. I'm not completely, totally sure what that means but they sound YUM.

Sal and Alex have a new love bird to go with the old one. I'm not at all sure I like it, it's noisy. I don't like the meerkat in the strange hanging glass thing either, she looks like trouble.

10th April 2009:

Mila: Apparently Mila is a Spanish name meaning Miracle. Laura didn't know but now she's pleased. So am I, I think it's very fitting.

Jack: Apparently Mila means something like Miracle in Spanish. Which is quite apt - it's a miracle I haven't got sick of her and eaten her yet.

14th February 2009:

Jack: Valentine's Day today, apparently. Mila thinks I should give her all my food. She thinks we are in some sort of relationship where I should give her food and attention more. I'm not too sure, generally my relationships were better before she came along. Sure, she is soft and cuddly and I like sleeping on her and she gives me lots of hugs. But she also showed up out of the blue and took over half of my attention from people and half of my food! I think therefore that she should be giving me all the food today.

Mila: A sad day for Mila Mouse. I was hoping that Jack was going to be romantic today. I was expecting some bright, warm sunlights and a dinner for two - where, of course, I got to eat ALL the food. Instead I had to share. What a way to treat a lady on Valentine's Day. It's all about Bright Lights and loads of food, and maybe a bit of a wrestle too. I guess we did have a few tussles, so maybe I shouldn't complain.

12th February 2009:

Mila: Tempy died of natural causes. RIP.

Jack: The locust died totally randomly, which is a bad sign in a dinner. I knew there was a reason we didn't want it, I just couldn't put my paw on it.

10th February 2009:

Jack: I saw some really really big planes today. They kind of look like eagles. Scary.

Back on the subject of zips, Robyn sent us a bag today. It was made entirely of one zip and Laura zipped it all up into a really awesome bag shape. And then I unzipped it, just for practice. Which took a while. I LOVE it.

Mila: I had some bounty bar today. It was really good. Laura's making scones now but she says I can't have any because there are raisins in it and if I eat them I might die. I can't have many scrambled eggs anymore since the vet said that Jack and I shouldn't eat too much cholesterol. Apparently it causes something bad to grown in our brains. Anyway - bounty bar is yum.

9th February 2009:

Jack: YES. I have learned to open zips. I rule. And all the stuff Laura keeps in zipped bags is spread over the floor. I wonder what she will think...

Mila: Today I like smoked salmon. Yesterday I didn't. Maybe tomorrow I will, I haven't decided yet. I like olives too today, but not celery. I am a complicated female.

8th February 2009:

Jack: Today a big black cat tried to come into my house. I fluffed my tail up a lot and growled really really well and he left!

Mila: Tempy the locust is alive and well and living on the lettuce garden in the kitchen. Now I want to eat him but I can't reach him.

4th February 2009:

Jack: DUUUUCKS! Yummy yummy yummy marshmallow ducks in my whiskers and on my fur and alllll over the carpet. Artificial colourings and preservatives, WEEEEEEE!

Mila: Tom gave us ducks.
I'm very sticky.

3rd February 2009:

Mila: I take my home-making responsibilities very seriously. I have neatly nipped all of the sealant off the bathroom units. Laura's not pleased. She's almost as cross as when Jack stole her Chicken Tikka Marsala. I am pleased though because it was untidy, and it tasted good.

Jack: I take my grooming responsibilities very seriously. I have neatly nipped off every one of Mila's pretty long whiskers and eyebrow hairs, leaving her with a 5mm stubble all around the nose. It's wicked cool, and she doesn't mind. Laura's not pleased though.

2nd February 2009:

Jack: There's a locust loose in the kitchen. Mila doesn't want to eat it. I'm not sure why, but if she doesn't want it neither do I. It's been there a week now. I think Laura would prefer someone ate it. But I will not cave in first. Tom has named it "Tempy" because he thinks it's temporary. We will see.

Mila: I like flowers. They are pretty and I want to spread the petals everywhere and roll in them. I like shiny things too, especially jewellery and chocolate wrappers. I have a secret stash (I'm not saying where). It's tricky, though, the easiest time to get jewellery is to pull it off people. And, strangely, they don't seem to like that.